This in on the email:
“Dear Hairy Platypus, I love your blog! In particular the name, the content is poor but the name is great.
We recently received the very sad news that our much loved church pastor, Felix Unky is leaving, he feels God is calling him to write a popular book so he can make enough money to buy a large ministry house on the coast.
So we are on the hunt for a new pastor. Please could you post the following advert?
Wanted: Dynamic Pastor to take the church to the next level
The Jupiter Hill Church is looking for a new dynamic Senior Chief Supreme Pastor. We are a church of 3,500 but have plans to grow that to 1.2 million by the end of the year. The Pastor has to be:
- Very male;
- Must be good looking;
- Must look great in videos;
- Comfortable using hair products;
- Prepared to jump on every trendy bandwagon;
- Doesn’t mind exaggerating sermon stories;
- Uses the Bible selectively to support personal agenda;
- Model of church growth is completely focused on quantity not quality;
- Happy not being accountable to a Board; and
- Always thinking of how to commercialize the churches offerings.
Remuneration is very competitive and includes the latest iBook, IPhone, iPod and iWonderful.
To register an interest please email: beautifulpastorsearch@jupiterhillchurch.com “
