March 31, 2008

job vacancy

Filed under: church management,mega church — churchianity @ 4:46 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This in on the email:

“Dear Hairy Platypus, I love your blog! In particular the name, the content is poor but the name is great.

felix-unky.jpgWe recently received the very sad news that our much loved church pastor, Felix Unky is leaving, he feels God is calling him to write a popular book so he can make enough money to buy a large ministry house on the coast.

So we are on the hunt for a new pastor. Please could you post the following advert?


Wanted: Dynamic Pastor to take the church to the next level

The Jupiter Hill Church is looking for a new dynamic Senior Chief Supreme Pastor. We are a church of 3,500 but have plans to grow that to 1.2 million by the end of the year. The Pastor has to be:

  • Very male;
  • Must be good looking;
  • Must look great in videos;
  • Comfortable using hair products;
  • Prepared to jump on every trendy bandwagon;
  • Doesn’t mind exaggerating sermon stories;
  • Uses the Bible selectively to support personal agenda;
  • Model of church growth is completely focused on quantity not quality;
  • Happy not being accountable to a Board; and
  • Always thinking of how to commercialize the churches offerings.

Remuneration is very competitive and includes the latest iBook, IPhone, iPod and iWonderful.

To register an interest please email: “


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