Churchianity

April 17, 2008

much needed sponsorship

Filed under: Anglican,Pastors — churchianity @ 3:54 am
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With so many churches struggling financially and so many businesses keen to spend money to attract new customers it is no surprise that churches are now actively seeking corporate sponsorship.

Reverend John Udas states:

We welcome the injection of funds but we were clear to make sure our values were aligned and that the sponsorship badging wasn’t too obtrusive.

The church and sponsors are now discussing product placement on the alter and key mentions within the church service. One example is: ‘The Lord’s Prayer is brought to you by Sonar Books, the happy reading folks.’

Reverend John and the new badging:

April 15, 2008

new care program for pastors

Filed under: Pastors — churchianity @ 7:40 pm
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For years pastors received a full-time wage for working just a few hours each Sunday morning. And then thankfully pastors realized they had to overwork to please God. So boundaries went out the window and they made themselves available 24/7. This has the unfortunate side effect of creating a rather stressful life for the pastor, but help is at hand with a new program that aims to offer care for the overworked pastor.

Called Congregational Counseling it simply involves the pastor using their sermon, prayer time, one on one pastoral encounters, business meetings etc.. to work through their difficulties.

The approach is simple, under the guise of being ‘authentic’ and ‘transparent’ the pastor uses their own stories as illustrations and examples. So a sermon on prayer they would say,

I have been struggling with my prayer life for years, I want to pray more but I am simply too busy. Who has time for prayer? Why should I pray? What is the point? Can I be bothered? So today we are going to talk about how you can be a better prayer.

Sharing your issues in front of your congregation is very freeing and can be done most weeks in most encounters. Another example at a church finance meeting,

I see our finances aren’t going very well this quarter which I really understand as I am struggling myself to pay for our mortgage and the new jetski. Lying awake at night isn’t very healthy and in the same way, worrying about the church’s finances isn’t honoring to a God who provides. God loves me and God will look after me.. and I guess that includes the church finances as well I suppose.

The pastor gives so much to his congregation, it is time the congregation gave something back.

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April 10, 2008

dictionary idea

Filed under: resources — churchianity @ 3:57 pm
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I have decided to write a dictionary of Churchianity; with the aim of shedding light on the strange language of the church. I invite your input! Leave your thoughts in the comments section for all to enjoy.

To start the ball rolling: (more…)

March 31, 2008

job vacancy

Filed under: church management,mega church — churchianity @ 4:46 pm
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This in on the email:

“Dear Hairy Platypus, I love your blog! In particular the name, the content is poor but the name is great.

felix-unky.jpgWe recently received the very sad news that our much loved church pastor, Felix Unky is leaving, he feels God is calling him to write a popular book so he can make enough money to buy a large ministry house on the coast.

So we are on the hunt for a new pastor. Please could you post the following advert?

 

Wanted: Dynamic Pastor to take the church to the next level

The Jupiter Hill Church is looking for a new dynamic Senior Chief Supreme Pastor. We are a church of 3,500 but have plans to grow that to 1.2 million by the end of the year. The Pastor has to be: (more…)

March 26, 2008

a preposterously driven life

Filed under: church management — churchianity @ 4:18 am
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I recently had the pleasure of catching up with world famous Christian author: Rick Rabbit-Warren about his massively huge best seller: Preposterously Driven Life.

HP: Rick thanks for your time, you are a bit of a hero of mine.

R R-W: I just want to start by saying that yes I am rich from book sales, but I give most of it away to desperately needy causes such as other less capable churches than mine.

HP: Great! So tell us about Preposterously Driven Life.

driven.jpgR R-W: Well it is particularly aimed at Christian leaders and those in Christian ministry. The idea is that I lay out the rules for being successful in ministry. The first preposterously driven principle is to work non stop and refuse to take breaks. It works along the lines that if you don’t do the task, no one will.

HP: Won’t that lead to burn-out? (more…)

March 24, 2008

big church, big chairs

Filed under: mega church — churchianity @ 8:03 am
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Now that every church is certain that the only path to success is by having a Mega Church, a number of companies have sprung up to meet this new demand. One such company is SCS (Small Churches Suck) who provide specialist furniture specific to Mega Church needs. SCS CEO, Bob Chuckpants states,

We at SCS understand that small churches suck and do all we can to provide the successful church with all the furniture they need to be cool and have lots of people attend and stuff.

big-chair.jpgThe big hit for SCS has been the range of very cool Mega chairs for the Mega Church. Known as the ‘Big Dreamer’ range they come in 38 colors and all include an image of the senior pastor on the back.

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